Examples of Why Crime Doesn’t Pay

Just for laughs, we’ve rounded up some of the funniest (attempted) offences from around the globe.

1. A low high

A trio of thieves breaking into a home discovered three jars of cocaine, and couldn’t believe their luck!

They took it home and snorted the contents… and this was the moment they discovered they’d stolen urns containing the ashes of the victim’s husband and two dogs – not the valuable white powder they yearned.

2. Dressed for arrest

When an attempted robbery at a home improvement store when horribly wrong, the would-be thief fled across the street and jumped a fence. His second mistake of the day was that he inadvertently jumped right into a nudist resort.

It wasn’t too hard for police to spot the man, as he didn’t have time to ‘blend in’ by getting into his birthday suit.

3. Armed and dizzy

A bank robber picked the worst possible time to faint – right in the middle of a job!

But you can’t keep a determined man down – after paramedics arrived and loaded him onto the ambulance, the hapless robber handed over a note demanding all the cash.

4. Pardon my French

Missing her jewellery and a bunch of valuable household items, a housewife was practically hysterical when Canadian police arrived at her home.

But when the woman’s French-speaking father called, she explained to him (in French, of course) that the robbery had been staged – a set up to make a bogus insurance claim.

What she didn’t count on was that the attending officer could speak six languages, including French.

5. Smart phone, not so-smart kid

When police visited the home of a 12-year-old boy accused of stealing an iPhone, he adamantly denied committing the offence.

That is, until police called the number and heard it ringing from inside his bedroom cupboard. “Okay, yes,” said the boy. “I did steal that. But the Blackberry you’re asking me about? NO WAY!”

Guess what happened when the police called that number? Ring … Ring …!

6. False alarm

The fear of death does strange things to people. Take for example James Washington, of Nashville,Tennessee who had a heart attack and thought he was going to die, so he confessed to a 17-year-old murder.

But he survived, and was sentenced to life in prison instead.

7. Throwing Molotov caution to the wind

Tensions can quickly escalate between disagreeing neighbours, especially if they are in the close proximity of a caravan park.

When one trailer park resident decided to throw a Molotov cocktail at his neighbour’s home, the winds shifted and sent embers onto his own trailer and setting it on fire.

Perhaps his later arrest and detention was a blessing in disguise, as he no longer had a home to return to.

8. He went that way, officer.

A thief who pedalled his pushbike up to a woman walking along the footpath and snatched her iPhone was caught only moments later.

How? The woman had been working the iPhone’s GPS tracking device, which was still turned on… and the Police easily found him.

9. Cop Out

A man was impersonating a police officer when he pulled over another car for speeding.

The speeding driver quickly sussed out that the man was not a police officer. How? Because he was one himself.

He quickly arrested the fake cop and charged him with impersonating an officer.

10. My safe place

A Texas man broke into a church and stole the safe.

Safes are pretty heavy, and he was on his own, so he only got a few yards before dropping it on a neighbour’s lawn, where he tried to crack it open. And, that’s when the home’s occupant showed up. It just so happens he was a police officer!

Top Five Videos

And here are five videos of would-be offenders having a bad day at the office:

1. Don’t run into police, or a police car

2. Didn’t see it coming

3. The many uses of a fold-up chair

4. WTF

5. Mobile phone security

Just goes to show that anyone can have a bad day on the job.

And while these stories come from overseas, Australia has its fair share of hapless offenders, too.